How to Save a Life
by JinxBlade
Summary: Donatello's reflection on a fight between Raphael and Leonardo. Song-fic. Mention of blood, but nothing graphic.


After watching TMNT, then hearing this song again for the first time in over a year, this piece has been stuck in my head and refuses to release its fitful grasp until it gets written.

To help (sorry if this is confusing, let me know if it is): **bold text**- memory, _italicized text_- song lyrics/Donatello's writing

Disclaimer: As always, I do not own TMNT, or the song "How to Save a Life" by The Fray. If wishes were copyright grants, I'd own a lot more than those. Trust me.

* * *

Furious accusations and insults filled the lair as two brothers clashed for what seemed like the thousandth time that week. Tension was high as the verbal (verging on physical) battle turned to the climax, an ultimatum for the younger to change his ways or else. There was a choked silence, and the younger brother made a choice. Fists clenched in barely restrained rage, he ran. Out the door and into the sewers, surely heading topside, as was the typical ending to their arguments.

The oldest brother was left standing in the kitchen, staring at the floor as if it could give him the answers to his unasked questions. After a moment, he picked up the chairs that had been knocked over and fell heavily into one, suddenly exhausted, resting his head in the crook his arm on the table.

Donatello watched from around the corner as Leonardo's shoulders shook in silent grief. Worry and fear spread for his younger brother, as well as concern for the older. He had watched the encounter between them, hoping this one would go better than the others. Thankfully, Michelangelo had been shuffled to his room before it started, so he didn't have to see the escalation. He must have heard it, though. Donatello made a note to check on his baby brother. He just had to think things over for a minute, get the buzzing to slow so he could process things logically, plan what to do next.

A brief visit to his lab gave the turtle a fresh notebook and pencil. Writing down his thoughts gave him the ability to sift through his thoughts and put them in order. Pencil poised at the top of the page, Donatello thought about how it had all started.

**They had all noticed Raphael's midnight excursions, smelled the alcohol on his breath when he came back the next morning and passed out on the couch, flinched at the pain in his eyes when they asked him about it. They had tried talking to him, talking at him, begging him to understand that it wasn't his fault, he had done his best. Some people just couldn't be saved. They knew he still saw the girl in his arms, covered in blood. They had been only minutes late to save her. The killer had been tracked down and dealt with. Raph had to be pulled away even after the man was dead.**

**Raphael hadn't been the same after that. He felt the most guilty, though no one was sure why. "Shoulda been there ta save 'er," he muttered. "She didn' hafta die."**

**Leonardo had had enough and decided to sit his brother down for a talk. A real one, not just a lecture. Raphael would have none of it. Donatello watched the progression spiral downwards.**

_Step one, you say we need to talk. _

_He walks._

_You say sit down, it's just a talk._

_He smiles politely back at you. _

_You step politely right on through._

**Leonardo guided Raphael to a kitchen chair, noting his brother's wary gaze. Sitting across from him, Leo began.**

_Some sort of window to your right_

_As he goes left and you stay right. _

_Between the lines, the fear and blame_

_You begin to wonder why you came._

**There was always a rift between Leo and Raph. Leonardo did his best to bridge that gap, to reach his brother, but was finding it difficult.**

Donatello shook his head, erasing his shaky handwriting. He still couldn't believe the pain in their voices.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend._

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

_And I would have stayed up with you all night_

_Had I known how to save a life._

If only there was some way Don could have helped. He racked his brain for answers. Surely there was something he could have said, something he could have done.

_Let him know that you know best_

_Cause after all you do know best._

_Try to step past his defense_

_Without granting innocence._

**Donatello groaned inwardly as Leonardo automatically went into lecture mode.**

_Lay down a list of what is wrong,_

_Things you told him all along._

_And pray to God he hears you._

_And I pray to God he hears you._

Donatello hoped Raphael thought about what Leonardo said at least. God knows where he was right now. The purple-banded turtle fervently hoped for his errant brother's safety.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend._

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

_And I would have stayed up with you all night,_

_Had I known how to save a life._

**Raphael did not take lectures well. Especially not this one.**

_As he begins to raise his voice,_

_You lower yours, and grant him one last choice._

"_Drive until you lose the road,_

_Or break with the ones you follow."_

**Chairs clattered to the ground as both stood angrily. Leonardo quietly gave his ultimatum: continue the behavior and get yourself killed, or let go and come back to us.**

_He will do one of two things:_

_He'll admit to everything_

_Or he'll say he's just not the same,_

_And you'll begin to wonder why you came._

Donatello scoffed at what he had just written. "He'll admit to everything." Yeah, right. As if Raphael would ever do such a thing. Don only just refrained from scratching it out. It was part of the thinking process after all.

Another sigh escaped him. Of all the times he wished Raphael would listen, this was one that he had wished the hardest.

_Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend. _

_Somewhere along in the bitterness._

_And I would have stayed up with you all night,_

_Had I known how to save a life._

Don clutched his pencil tightly, both in frustration and anguish. He should have said something, anything. Stopped his brother from going down his destructive path. But he had nothing. If only he had known.

_How to save a life._

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R&R please. Honest is the best policy.


End file.
